Mortality is the only comfort in Life

This is it

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 16:18:36 GMT

For the longest time I've been wanting to post this up. But I've never found the push to actually do it. Coming to 6 years. That's how old this journal will be in June. But the stories end here.

Many factors were taken into consideration. I had initially wanted to delete all traces of the journal... and I did try that for a while too. But thanks to a good advise a friend gave, I've decided to allow these fragments of my life to float on in cyberspace. Next I was contemplating if I should actually type one final entry or just let it die a natural death. No prize for guessing which paths I decided to take.

To be honest, it wasn't like I dramatically stopped blogging. It had been slowly decaying and the drive to actually record my life in words had begun to waiver. Wordy entries evolved (or devolved?) into pictorials (and they weren't artsy photos worth posting anyway).

To look at this exercise from an entirely different point of view, it's my past. Which I have too much of. No, I don't regret it; it's been done and don't you dare demand me to be ashamed of it. Nothing I do will ever change the past. Deleting the journal does not equate to erasing the past. But maybe it could be symbolism for letting the past go.

I feel like I'm losing coherence. So before I start rambling senselessly, I bid all of you farewell. It's been a good 6 years (almost). I may blog again. But not anytime soon and definitely not here.

Goodbye.

WAD 2007

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 03:07:23 GMT

Making Memories - 20071031 Farewell Lunch @ CPK KLCC

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:55:48 GMT

Making Memories - 20071019 Lunch @ Secret Recipe KL Sentral

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:04:40 GMT

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 01:36:49 GMT

You know you are stressed by work when you start having dreams about source codes, runtime errors, code optimizations and data consistency.

I hate you. Can you like not intrude my dreams?

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 13:54:31 GMT

Hey you (you know who you are), just want to thank you for lifting my spirits and making me realise all the things worth waiting for. It really means a lot to me. Could've easily been a matter of life and death.

Thank you.

I come to bring you bad news

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 15:59:39 GMT

Planned activities for November were revealed earlier this evening and I'm not really happy with it. I am expected to work on 8th Deepavali and 10th Saturday. To Katey, I suppose that answers your question if I'm going to be in Singapore.

No doubt this is happening due to lack of resources; human and time. But why should I suffer for someone else's willingness to carve a bigger portion of profit at the expense of her employees' morale? Don't see why I should sacrifice my rest days to make her purse fatter. It probably wouldn't have affected me this much if she'd be there on those days too. I would probably even do it gladly if it had been another weekend.

So I told her no go for 10th. I have an appointment with my hairdresser at 1400H and an important dinner that night. She naturally did not let me go without a fight. So in the end we arrived at a compromise. Instead of 10th, we'll work til late on 9th.

Not that it really matters to her, she didn't have to come on the 10th anyway.

Making Memories - 20070929 Lunch @ Delicious

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:35:36 GMT

Making Memories - 20070901/02 Cherating

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 07:25:47 GMT

Making Memories - 20070923 White Water Rafting @ Sungai Slim

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:41:38 GMT

Making Memories - 20070830

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:00:52 GMT

Come get me, boys

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 09:03:08 GMT

A cruel dish served cold

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 02:06:55 GMT

We had ordered lobster sashimi and I was looking forward to it... until they brought the dish to our table. On the huge oval platter, the raw longan-like meat of the lobster were laid out in two rows on a bed of ice. Running across the middle of the platter the tip was the lower torso shell + tail of the lobster. On the other tip, the upper torso + head of the lobster was erected majestically. I was awestruck for a brief moment... until I realised the upper torso + head move a little. By the time the waitress had set the dish on the table, there was a mini commotion going on already. We watched with disgust as the frontal limbs moved weakly, almost shivering, and the mandibles in a rhythmic open-close movement. If they had voices, the entire restaurant would definitely hear a slow painful moan.

Dad was outraged by the display of sheer cruelty and demanded the waitress to hurrily remove the upper torso and cook it or kill it or something.

Making Memories - 20070815 Shiao Peng's Birthday @ Wong Solo

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 05:49:13 GMT

What did we expect? At least they did not want to soak their keris with gay christians' blood

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:53:25 GMT

Gov't to block planned gay church - as reported in an alternative news source yesterday evening.

According to the Tourism Minister Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor, the government planned to block setting up of such a church, going as far as saying that the country had always sought to portray itself as a "family-oriented" holiday destination. (Personal note: First step - cease all nonsensical raids and inhumane detentions of tourists who have chosen Malaysia as a horroday destination).

He reaffirmed his point by saying that We are here to be seen as a multicultural country with people who are good, excellent followers of their respective religions. (Personal note: I know of hetero people who are not good and are not excellent followers of their respective religions e.g. money politics, murderers, draconian laws. Unless of course if you insist that being gay automatically makes you not good and not excellent follower of your religion).

Why am I not surprised by this retaliation? I am, however, slightly amused that the Tourism Minister should be the government representative to address this. Then again, just to rationalize that, the bulk of the visitors to this country is from the Middle East. Hence, I'm assuming that TATM is fearful that these potential visitors may be put off by the idea of a gay church. Although having said that, it is still, in my opinion, a rather weak argument.

Welcome to Dhimmiland! We're good and excellent followers of our religion. We will raid your rooms if you wear a sarong. We will detain you if you're coloured. We demolish temples. We ban gay churches. Enjoy your stay!

The trouble of accepting the non-mainstream

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 06:11:25 GMT

Yesterday, for the first time in almost four years, I attended a church service with a couple of my friends. It wasn't just any service, it was a service led by the controversial and homosexual Rev. Ou Yang, who had recently sparked uproar in forms of hate e-mails and SMSes.

To recap, I stopped going to church so many years ago due to my inability to reconcile my sexuality and God. Or rather with the Church, as I have accepted that God loves me even if I am gay as opposed to the Church that thinks otherwise. Even so, after a while, God took a back seat and faded from my life. The turning point wasn't so much of me not going to church anymore, but the fact that eventually I stopped speaking to God, stopped praying.

So this service should have been what the doctor would prescribe; a church service where I don't have to feel that my sexuality is wrong. It should have been a straight-forward action-reaction remedy. But it wasn't. I guess you could blame my expectation, which was rather low. So when the service went beyond expectation, I was overwhelmed to a point where it didn't quite feel right. It was a service alright, but it didn't quite feel like one to me. Personally, it felt more like a gay rights activism rally of some sort. I felt that the emphasis on the gay agenda came on too strongly for a church service. Phrases such as celebrate our (homo)sexuality felt unnecessary. I don't have anything against gay activism, in fact I'm for it. But the combination of gay activism and church service just didn't quite go down well with me.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think the concept is wrong or anything and I would definitely want to have a church to go to where I don't have to feel hypocritical. But this will definitely need time. A lot of time. Imagine, if a gay man like me feels this about the concept of a church that accepts homosexuality, what more our heterosexual brothers and sisters? And let's not even begin with the big man up there. He just voiced out that he will be fair to all religions; but all we can hear so far are the talks and not in sight are the walks. Tolerance towards religions other than the national religion is at best volatile. Now not only will Rev Ou Yang's church face highly possible oppostion from the big man up there, his will have to also face the other mainstream churches, who have clearly stated that they do not want to be seen as condoning the concept.

Making Memories - 20070602 Dinner with Cousins @ Genji

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 09:28:10 GMT

Making Memories - 20070727 Mona's Farewell @ CPK

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 06:45:35 GMT

Making Memories - 20070719 Team Lunch @ Sudu

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 08:58:42 GMT

No to a Police State in Blogosphere: In Solidarity with Nathaniel Tan

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 06:26:16 GMT

Nathaniel Tan, a 26 year old dedicated blogger, a Harvard University alumnus and an aide to Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim has been arrested under the Section 8 of the Official Secrets Act (OSA) over allegations that he had documents linked to Deputy Internal Security Minister Datuk Johari Baharom’s alleged involvement in corruption.

The OSA in its current form allows for a government to administer this country covertly and in defiance of the accountability and transparency that is crucial to democratic process. This impacts on all our lives in more ways that we can begin to understand as the government is given a means to thwart legitimate public interest by the forced suppression of material and relevant information.

To demonstrate our solidarity with Nathaniel who has been dealt with great injustice, to show our steadfast refusal to let the Government curb the democratisation impact of blogs and the Internet, and to voice our displeasure at the OSA, we are organising a forum with invited speakers from across the civil society with details as follows:

Date: 19 June 2007 (Thursday)

Time: 7.30pm

Venue: KL & Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall

The Panel of Distinguished Speakers:
Nathaniel Tan, Blogger & Aide to PKR Advisor*
Lim Guan Eng, Secretary-General of DAP
Jeff Ooi, Protem Vice-President, All Blog Malaysia
Harris Ibrahim, Lawyer & Founder of The People's Parliament
Nurul Izzah Anwar, Special Assistant to PKR Advisor
Tony Pua, Economic Advisor to DAP Secretary-General

Chairperson: Soon Li Tsin, Journalist & Blogger

* We will be inviting Nathaniel to speak to us and relay his experiences at the Forum should he be released from remand on Tuesday, 17th July or before.

Admission is Free; Bring Friends

Original Source

Free Nat Now

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 07:06:38 GMT

Brian's Farewell Dinner: Aftermath

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:06:56 GMT

Went to a bar called Coastal in USJ. It feels just like Bangkok again, except for instead of Miu, now I have Vivian and Jane touching all over me. I didn't realise such a sleazy straight bar exists right smack in USJ. I wasn't all that comfortable at first, but a little bit of Swing helps a lot.

Making Memories - 20070621 Korean Restaurant

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 07:25:23 GMT

Making Memories - 20070619 Jane's Birthday

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 10:59:24 GMT

Making Memories - 20070617 Dark Cave

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 08:46:41 GMT